Well, I thought I would be able to blog by Tuesday, but what was I thinking?...school started! I was thinking that I’d have more free time, but I was wrong. Just the transportation alone is a challenge. I have 3 schools to go to twice each day, and it’s such a crime if they are late.
Thank the Lord my 4th chemotherapy wasn’t any harder than the 3rd. I felt terrible and could hardly eat for days, but at least I was able to keep my food down. I stayed on my meds around the clock and survived on small servings of homemade chicken soup and lots of sleep for the first two days. After sleeping for 2 days and 3 nights, I am wired and have trouble sleeping for the next week. I think it might be another side effect from some medication….who knows…But I’ll take lack of sleep over nausea any time. The nausea is so different than the flu. It is from neuropathy, which is a side effect from the chemo that is more “toxic.” It causes such terrible taste in your mouth, makes your mouth (including teeth) numb. It makes food taste awful. So the fact that I am able to eat anything at all on my “bad week” is really amazing. I still can’t eat anything cold because that makes it feel like there are pins digging into the back of my throat. It does the same thing to my fingers if I touch anything cold. When people see me, they say, “Oh you didn’t lose your hair, so you are doing well.” I’ve talked to people who have only had the hair loss as a side effect, and that’s great to hear. My side effects are too hard to describe. Only a person who has gone through the same thing knows what I’m talking about. Maybe that is why I am going through this; to be a support for someone else down the road. Although I do not wish anyone to go through this, cancer is a part of all our lives.
I still have a few health concerns that keep popping up, so I have been back to the doctors to get more tests run, including a biopsy from my neck. I really feel like this chemo is too much for my body to deal with. I have always tried to avoid medication and have used nutrition to heal my body (and surgery when necessary), but for now I have to get through 8 more sessions of poisoning my body….so contradictory to the way I believe. I will feel a little relieved when I have made it to the half-way mark. I guess because I feel that if I get at least half-way done, it had to do some good and they can take me off of that one “toxic” chemo if it is too much for my body. Who am I kidding? My oncologist has plans for me to finish 12 sessions of both of my chemotherapies. I am thankful that his team monitors my blood counts closely before each treatment. I do have faith that they know what they are doing, but my body is still fighting back.
Well, people always ask me how I am doing, and it’s a tough question to answer in one sentence. Bottom line…I am surviving. It is easier to write about my experience than it is to talk about it. And it’s easier to fill everyone in all at one time. I do not want to scare anyone away from chemo, nor do I want to implant thoughts in their head that they will have the same symptoms if faced with chemo themselves. I have talked to so many people about their experience and their stories are all so different; some much worse than mine and some not so bad at all. Half way through my “good week,” I feel almost normal again until I am reminded that I have to go back for another treatment soon. Then I feel the nausea and anxiety begin. I won’t really feel good until I know I don’t have to go back. For now, just the smell of rubbing alcohol makes me sick. When I am done with this, I plan to have an extremely healthy diet and get lots of exercise in hopes of avoiding chemo again. I don’t know how people go through this more than once! I pray that a life style change will keep me cancer-free in the future!
Enough about my struggles….I am proud to announce that Alyssa made it on the Freshman volley ball team, even though she has never played before (with the exception of 2 ½ weeks worth of camps this summer.) She is doing well, and I can’t wait to see her play. She really needed a sport to concentrate on to keep her busy. I am also proud to announce that Joshua’s new travel ball team, the Show, won all 6 of their games in the Labor Day tournament, placing them as state champions. This was the first time this entire team has played together, so it was quite amazing. The coaches on the Show want to develop the boys in several positions, giving them the maximum opportunity to help develop into well-rounded ball players. During the tournament Joshua was able to play in every single position, except right field. The boys were moved around so much, yet they dominated the tournament. In those 6 games, only 5 runs were scored against them. It was really quite astonishing to watch. Let me just say that Joshua wouldn’t have gotten to where he is now without the solid baseball training he received from his previous coaches. We are forever grateful for the 2 years he spent with Coach Joe Kehoe & the year he spent with Coach Brion Hurst.
Well, this is typical me. I can’t get around to writing, and then when I finally do, I write too much! My life is busy now, and I really don’t have time to be sick, so I plan to get through this quickly and do what I can to take care of myself. As if I’m not busy enough, I also have to be an advocate for Katrina, who is struggling in school because of her Dyslexia. Although 1 out of every 5 people are Dyslexic, the schools do not have a program to help these children. I am constantly sending E-mails and learning the law, so that I can get our daughter the help she needs. Katrina is such a sweat child who is on the right track. She cares about others and has a heart for Special Ed. children and is a volunteer each week in the church nursery. She is also very involved in the church youth group. I pray that by next year she won’t have to spend so much time with her homework and that she, too, can play a sport.
I still appreciate all the prayers and support!
